; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
