You're completely useless in the revolution.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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