I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
When are your genitals available?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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