3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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