Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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