I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
