so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
