if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
