There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
