What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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