Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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