I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
