So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
