Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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