Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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