Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize