Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
