im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
