YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize