Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
