yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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