her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
