I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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