I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
