do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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