Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
