he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
