You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
