How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
