I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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