I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
