You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
