no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
