i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
