your thong is hanging out like whoa
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
