I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
