I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
