It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
