he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
