Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
