it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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