but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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