Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
