we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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