thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
this is an emotional support booty call
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
