I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
