I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
