Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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