rhymes with "ouble enetration"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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