Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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