i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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