you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
