You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
