Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
