It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
