Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
